2nd short story “complex syndrome”

 

（ This story can be read in about 1 minute）

 

Episode 2.
「complex syndrome」

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I cut my bangs.
I didn’t want it hanging over my eyes. Not for boys.

The scissors cut down my hair, and I gazed at the mirror.

–Why don’t you just wear your hair the way you like it?　It’ll look good on you!

The brainy voice echoed in my head.
Unfortunately, I knew that is a lie.

If I take it for granted and try to follow the trend, I am met with ridicule and abuse from all sides.

Someone said “Humans are essentially equal!”, but I don’t think so.
At least, in my society I have.

“You think you are cute, don’t you?”

It’s always the cruel words that take away people’s confidence.
I’ve never heard such terrible words, but I’m sure boys in my class talk about that.

So, I’ve stopped expressing myself in my hair, nails, clothes and so on.
Why not?
To defend me from their’s hurtful words.
I’m afraid of hearing that.
What a happy! I’m a super lucky girl! Sigh.

I tapped my hair and was ready to go. The result is as disappointing as ever.
I’ve known that for a long time. I won’t hurt at all. At all.

I’m going to kiss the upside-down teru teru bozu and go out again today.

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“I envy you! I want to go with the three beauties!”

A loud voice echoed through the class.
Three beauties?
He doesn’t notice how ridiculous his word is.

“Hi, my sis! Hey, what should we do today?　Tell me your plan, please.”

Came the brainy voice.
Hey you, the three beauties.
You’re so cute, but do you have any problems?

Today, on the weekend, the boys and girls in my class decide to go to the summer festival in the next town.
She, of course, is the main attraction. I am just invited.
It goes without saying that the boy’s purpose is how befriend with her.

In the first place, I had no right to refuse.
I couldn’t be bothered to think of a way to say no, so I just chose to go with the flow.

–It’ll be fun! I’m going with you, and you won’t be alone!

The brainy voice hits me with innocent words.
Every time I hear that, I can’t breathe.

It’s not that I don’t want to go with you.
It’s that I don’t like being with you and being laughed at.
It hurts more than anything that you don’t notice that.

I’m sure you’re going to get all dressed up, right?
You would make a lot of noise together, laugh like the sun, and make happy memories with everyone.
I don’t think I could smile like you.

“I’m sure it’s fun! Abusolutely!”

No.
Everyone is looking forward to enjoying with you.
They want to be with you who look good in yukata and have a cute smile.

The only thing saves me is this sticky, humid air.
Grumpy clouds are dancing in the sky.
I wish the weather is getting worse.
Rain is the best excuse.

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The rain clouds have gone away. The setting sun was glaringly bright.
A teru teru bozu in the trash can sees me off as I leave the house with a gloomy feeling.
I wear a dull, hand-me-down yukata, an old, worn-out drawstring bag.
Frowning at the pain in the nose-string, I walked along the still damp ground.

I arrived at the station and bought a ticket.
I sat patiently in the uncomfortable chair and waited for the appointed time.

If I could be a different person, I have been more purely, freely, and cutie.

The ticket slipped out of my hand and I ran to the ticket machine.

If I didn’t have this ugly face, I’ve smiled been more beautiful.

Maybe, I’d love me moreover.

I laughed at my impossible assumption and got on the train.
The train started moving.
It was going in the opposite direction of the meeting place.
Feeling light-hearted, I turned off my phone.

As I stared out the window in a daze, I just thought.
I wish it would have rained.

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vocal…haro
music…biz & yuzuki
illustration…nou
story…mog
movie…mashimo

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